From 2010 to 2014 Richard Cobbett wrote Crapshoot, a column about rolling the dice to bring random obscure games back into the light. This week, from Hull, from Halifax, from Hell, ’tis thus. From all these three, Good Lord deliver us. Unfortunately, you can’t get out of this one with a TomTom.

Of all the things to do if you find yourself in Hell, plotting escape has to be at least the third most important on the list—the first two things being saying “Oh, dang,” and complementing Satan on his Andy Hamilton impression. This isn’t quite the hellish abyss of infinite torture you might be expecting though. No. It’s one of the weirdest RPGs you’ll ever play, in a very literal comedy Wasteland.

(This is a sly allusion to the fact that it uses the Wasteland engine—that popular RPG whose Kickstarter pulled in $2.5 million for a sequel. No Kickstarter for this one though, is there? Wonder why…)

The easiest way to sum up Escape From Hell isn’t simply that Stalin is one of the first characters to join your party. (Yes, that one. Except now he’s wearing a badge marked “Capitalists For A Free Hell”, and wants to help you take down the literal red menace surrounding him.) No, it’s that compared to some of the stuff you stumble across, that’s nothing. In Escape From Hell very little makes any actual sense, but there’s usually a thin connecting line of logic. Even if it’s really more reminiscent of the sloppy string of drool stretching between the mouths of two inexperienced kissers on their first date. Believe me, this game gets weird fast.

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